I was on leave on the last Friday of the week before the community quarantine. Before the so-called normal started to disappear. I remember reading the news on social media and feeling too anxious. I immediately thought to myself how afraid I was to become a carrier of the virus and be unaware of it. To infect people close to me, people I love, people in general. It was my absolute fear.
*
It's been forty days since the announcement of the pandemic. Not every generation could say they had lived through a period of time wherein they had to stay indoors to battle a virus. Not that it's something to be proud of. Albeit during this time, everyone—and I mean, everyone, from planet Earth—must have seen and realized some things they never thought would occur to them or thought but never understood until now. The simple joys of walking outside and feeling the breeze. Of dressing up and going places. Of simply seeing life outside the corners of your house. Little things we tend to overlook. How surreal it all feels.
I was nervous the first time we went out to restock our supplies. Going to the "outside world" did not seem as exciting. We wore caps, pants and sneakers to cover our skins. We were equipped with masks, and a tiny spray bottle of alcohol in one hand. As we drove by the residents in our subdivision, I was surprised to see some people taking the pandemic lightly. It's as if they were merely out to buy ice creams and milk teas: no urgency. At the supermarket, I was moving too cautiously so as to avoid contact with anyone. Physical distancing despite of some who seem oblivious of the new directive. When we got back home, we made sure we wash our hands, arms, and faces first. We removed our shoes and changed our clothing. We scrubbed all our groceries clean, from basic necessities to canned goods and fruits. It was exhausting, but we had to create a new system out of fear.
To find a sense of normalcy, I even set up a work station at home to encourage myself to be more productive. Everything feels unreal. I've been lucky enough to have such options, but two weeks in and it has also taken a toll on my mental health.
*
I had to lessen my screen time because of the deluge of toxic content I see online. It's as if the developments and issues surrounding the virus, the continuous rise of the number of affected people, the death toll from all over the world are not bad enough. We also got to see some of the worst people in power and the many apathetic humans who share their judgment. Their wicked words, incredulous actions, and general indifference are actually more alarming than the pandemic.
My fear was still the same, but I had come to fear these baffling people more. I further realized how mindless obedience and lack of sympathy could do more damage and harm than the virus itself. This outbreak did not only shatter the illusion of our present ways, but also revealed how much closer we are living with the characters from the dystopian fiction we used to watch and read.
We should fear the virus, not the government. We can abide and still speak up, especially for those who do not have the options nor the means to be heard. We can open our eyes and still listen. We can have compassion without compromise.
*
It's been thirty-seven days since the lockdown, and it's still overwhelmingly frightening.
For me, it's another day at home. Another day of keeping my mental health in check. Outside the walls of safety of my house, the fight goes on, more dangerously so for most. Everyone is trying to get by, but many are trying to survive. Have a heart. Check your privilege not your liege.
(c)
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